Dr. Cristina Minotti talks about a very interesting topic which is self-esteem: where does it start? How to take care of it? Here are the answers and some practical advice from the expert.
Come with me.
You can do it in front of a mirror.
With the reflection of your image in front of you , what can you say to yourself ?
Are you using kind words ? Or are severe thoughts coming out ?
I just presented you with a simple exercise to make you immediately connect with your self-esteem!
Self-esteem, the true meaning
“Self-esteem” does not simply mean “liking yourself”. It is a much deeper and more complex construct . How often are you at war with your soul?
How many times do we argue with the world because something in us is not in balance?
Self-esteem evolves gradually in our existence . It arises from the first moment of life after giving birth when the newborn meets his caregivers. Initially, the little one needs to access the vision of himself through the mind, the comments, the support of the adults he refers to. When the child says a first little word or builds a game, the caregiver can say: "You said a really nice word!" Or: “You invented a really interesting game!!” . These are examples of " positive mirroring ", primary experiences that will be the basis of future self-esteem.
As a reaction, the child's mind will experience an unconscious thought: "What I have done is good, it is recognized, it is important. So I have value."
Self-esteem is linked to specific processes
- The meaning that everyone has about themselves
- To beliefs about one's own person
- To personal esteem
- To the image of us in the minds of others.
Why can self - esteem decrease?
Self-esteem depends not only on us but also on our experience with the outside world. Self-esteem is influenced by our relationships , by critical events , by the result of certain actions.
Furthermore, the translation we make of experiences in our head is central.
We can identify precise variables capable of lowering self-esteem:
1) Intense experiences that generated a sense of shame
2) Parents' authoritarian or permissive style
3) Lack of positive reinforcement and listening
5) Experiences of rejection
How can we take care of our self-esteem?
It is essential to recognize our personal level of self-esteem in order to understand whether we are on the negative or positive side. Let's remember that low self-esteem can lead to unpleasant consequences :
- Relationship problems
- Problems at work
There are steps you can take with awareness and psychological work that can support self-esteem.
Let me introduce you to the main ones!
Define your resources
- Accept your limits by understanding them in different contexts
- Work on your mistakes by analyzing them and forgiving yourself
- Embrace your values
- Compliment yourself when the result is effective
- Move away from the idea of perfection.
If the path is tough and difficult, don't hesitate to contact a professional!
I am available to work with you for your inner and mental balance!
Ps. If you want to share with me the results of the first exercise that I presented at the beginning of the article, write me an email at
Or on Instagram cristinaminotti_
Dr. Cristina Minotti